A family member said to me that he was worried he would also develop Alzheimer’s like his relative. My answer is not based on medical diagnosis, rather on observations over decades. First, we must remember science marches on. We are learning more every day about all forms of dementia as well as Alzheimer’s. These conditions are definitely on the national radar. The baby boomers are old enough to remember the fight to conquer Polio. We found a way. We can find a way to deal with dementias and Alzheimer’s.
Those in the caregiving, or “sandwich” generation, may sometimes experience episodes of forgetfulness. We have a lot on our plates: the house, the spouse, the kids, the job, the pet, and also Mom! That’s not Alzheimer’s, that’s “too much –heimer’s!” Such episodes may be a signal to take something off your plate; delegation and improved self-care will help you cope. You are valuable.
We are all products of two sets of genetic input. Just because one parent had the condition does not mean both will develop it. If your sibling has it, that still does not mean you are next. Folk wisdom labels some children as “more like their father’s family” while others “take after their mother”. We don’t just resemble out parents in looks; we also resemble them on the inside. Remember the toy collidescope? Each time we turned it, all the colored glass pieces shifted and the patterns could be radically different. The genetic collidescope is somewhat like that; you are another turn of that wheel.
Research shows that lifestyle definitely influences outcomes on these diseases; drinking, smoking, diet and exercise make a difference. Deep relaxation, such as meditation, or prayer, also seems to make a difference. Social support is very helpful. Assess your lifestyle; perhaps you can make some modifications to improve your chances. What are you teaching your children about healthy lifestyles? Your changes could make an even greater difference in their future health.
It’s very hard to look at our loved-ones as they evolve in ways we do not recognize. President Reagan’s daughter’s book, The Long Good-Bye, describes part of that journey. As we look upon them we are also mourning the loss of their company in ways we used to share. Ask yourself, “Is this worry really my mourning in another shape?” Give yourself permission to mourn because this loss is just as real. Our society evolved ways to honor those who mourn loss through death; we need to develop ways to mourn other forms of loss.
Who do you know facing such a loss? Could you find a way to honor their mourning? Can you raise this discussion about the need to offer mourning support to families of caregivers? What about the care system in your house of worship? A grassroots campaign to recognize, honor, and support caregivers will go a long way to creating the kindly society we all want.
For the latest research information on Alzheimer’s it is best to review the
Alzheimer’s Association website: http://www.alz.org/
A Senior Moment 