The holiday season brings out the gift giving in us. Finding senior gifts presents special concerns. Will she (he) actually use it? What size is the person now? How well will it launder?
Will the senior actually use it; maybe or maybe not. That old sweater looks like an eyesore to you. To them it represents history. Every tear and stain came from wearing it during prior experiences. They are wearing memories, not the sweater. We saw this sentiment in the war memorial to our most recent conflicts; the boots exhibit. None of those boots were new. A better present might be to help mend their favorite sweater or get it professionally cleaned. Perhaps the item is beyond repair. DON’T THROW IT AWAY! Those well intentioned moves break your bond of trust. Ask them to wear the new item for pictures and help them “store” the old one.
What size becomes an issue because most fashions, even big/tall sizes, assume a non-senior weight distribution. Mae West said; “I used to be light as a snow flake; then I drifted”. Just because the facility tells you that your senior weighs 150lbs, does not mean she will fit into a size 12 easily. Does the senior wear Depends? Those add girth. Does the senior retain water in the lower extremities: that factor maybe important if you are buying slacks. In contrast, their tops may be much smaller. Does grandma still wear a bra? If she only wears under shirts, those will shift the way a dress fits. Mobility is also an issue. When using a walker, the senior will bend over slightly making the front too long and it becomes a falls hazard. Flowing skirts can get caught in a wheelchair’s wheels. Long coats are especially hard to manage in and out of cars. Get a car coat and put a lap robe over the legs during transport.
Laundry is always an issue. If things aren’t marked, they disappear. Even if they are marked, things evaporate. Facilities do laundry for a crowd and can’t manage special handling. Keep dry cleaned items at your home. You can always pre-deliver dry-cleaned items, properly marked, for grandma to wear for Christmas dinner. Be aware of shrinkage. I recently took a senior to a party. She was wearing her own slacks but these were “high water”. Know that the items will probably be laundered in very hot water and read labels. Ask; some facilities have catalogues and will even help you make purchases.
What else could you do? Ask the senior and/or facility if he needs/wants any clothing. Consider other self-help aides instead. How about a reaching devise for a person with limited mobility? If they are still at home, consider installing security measures. How about a gift for their pet? Does the facility have a pet? You can give them something to give to that pet. The senior gets two gifts; one is the item, other is the ability to give something. One does not always want to be on the receiving end of this process.
Give your senior the gift of yourself. Do they really need more stuff? You may ask yourself, how do I do that when I am extra busy at the holidays? Here are a couple suggestions just to get your mental wheels turning: handwrite her favorite recipe on cards for her to send to the family. Gather some old photos, get them digitized, and create a ‘slide show” in a digital frame for her room. Take a family story and put it in a frame, or offer it to the facility bulletin. Set up a skype conversation between the senior and a distant family member for the week between Christmas and the New Year. Not on Christmas Day if possible. Send a donation to a new organization she might like: Heifer International. They will send a If she listens to radio, try a donation or birthday sponsorship to NPR.
A Senior Moment 