We greet troops with this phrase, but we do not have a phrase that recognizes and honors caregivers. Why not? It’s easy to identify troops, since they wear uniforms. It’s easy to identify new parents, or parents to be; they have babies or look pregnant. It’s not so easy to identify caregivers. You may be a caregiver. Your neighbors or colleagues may be caregivers. Many people who provide care to their loved ones do not even identify themselves as caregivers! That is part of the problem.
Identity comes in two forms, how others may see our role, or whether we see ourselves as caregivers. You learned your new status when others responded to you in the past. Remember the first day of school? The first day you wore an engagement ring or wedding band? These symbols not only identified you to others, they also signaled others to respond to your new role differently. Through those responses from others you learned how society saw your role, what people expected of you, and the ways you were honored for being a ……
During World War I, a mother who had lost her son, started the Gold Star Mothers program. She did so because it was a way of gaining recognition for those parents who had lost a child in battle. Widows were honored, but it was not as clear for grieving parents. Part of our support and help comes from those around us. If those around us do not know of our special role, they cannot support, or offer any help to us in that role.
Part of creating a caregiver program is recognizing when we, ourselves, are acting as “Silver Stars”. More than in once a family member has told me, “I’m not really a caregiver because…..” You may really be a caregiver. Do you do the errands, grocery shopping, or bill paying for a family member? Do you accompany a family member to medical appointments? Do you tackle all those insurance/Medicare/ SSI forms? Do you provide help with foot care, bathing, dressing, dental care, and assist with a love one’s mobility? Do you worry about your loved ones who live far away? Yes, you are a caregiver. Recognize yourself first; you are a silver star!
How do we create our own “Silver Star” program? Sometimes it is easier to see others doing caregiving. Who is a caregiver in your social circle? Just as we celebrate birthdays with friends and at work, how about a recognition luncheon at work or at church? Many women wear corsages on Mother’s Day. People wear black arm bands or torn black ribbons when in mourning. What do you think caregivers should wear? November is national caregiver’s month. This would be a good time to start a new tradition of recognizing (and supporting) the Silver Star caregivers around you? Thank the caregivers around you for their service.
A Senior Moment 