As we approach Thanksgiving, we consider visiting elderly relatives or arranging for them to visit us. While I cannot offer a guarantee of a pleasant visit, here are a few things to keep in mind to avoid some of the pitfalls:
1. The best time to visit is the senior’s best time of day. If Great Aunt Liz does not get up until noon, her best time is in the afternoon, not the morning. Other seniors “sundown” and become more dysfunctional in the late afternoon.
2.Mealtimes need to be consistent. If Grandpa usually eats at noon, expecting him to wait for lunch until 2:00 pm is unrealistic. Some medications must be taken with meals preferably at regular times. It might work to move the Thanksgiving dinner to 4:00pm and make it his evening meal.
3.Some seniors want to lie down once they have eaten. If that is their habit, is there a quiet place for them to rest in your house?
4.What medications do they take? Do they have them along for the visit? Are there other backup supplies you should bring along; Oxygen tanks, Depends, or blue pads?
5.Going to a senior care facility may work better from a logistical standpoint. Try to coordinate your visit with the facility’s schedule. If Grandma is eating lunch she may not focus on her food if you arrive at mid-meal. On the other hand, some facilities encourage families to come in and share dinner with the resident senior. Find out the facility policy and arrange your schedule accordingly.
6.Bringing smaller children means bringing a backpack. This way, they will have activities to occupy them and supplies in case they need a change of clothes. Provide something they can do with or for the senior while on the visit; like making a picture for Grandma. Just as you think ahead to fill the back pack, think ahead to fill-in their information. Let children know ahead of time that some people have conditions (do not use the word “sick”) and they need extra help. “Sick” implies contagious to small children so find other words.
7. Some people are not sure if children should be exposed to a nursing home; why not? Yes, they will point to things they have not seen and ask questions. Answer these directly and simply. Helping children understand the ways equipment helps Grandma prepares them for a world which will have more seniors.
8.More than the information you give, it is the attitude you demonstrate that teaches children this stage is just part of the circle of life not something to dread. I found it helpful to remind my children that they also could not walk or eat by themselves earlier in their lives. Do you have a photo of Grandma holding them as babies? It would be a good idea to show this now to remind them Grandma took care of them. Show this photo before you visit the facility.
HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
A Senior Moment 